I hate reality TV. Some of the things they do on these shows are completely absurd. I also question the supposed realism, as I believe all reality shows are to some extent scripted. Despite my best efforts to avoid them, every so often I find myself watching select seasons or episodes of a show that I normally hate. Reality shows are like junk food. They’re both guilty pleasures that are easy to digest, but leave you with nothing of real value.
I’m cognizant of the fact that reality shows are not going anywhere, and will forever have a place among mainstream TV. I know one guy that really wants to go on Survivor. He applied multiple times, unsuccessfully. Another friend is always saying that he would be good for The Amazing Race, since he travels so much. That would be his show of choice if he was forced to participate in reality TV. He’s always asking me which show I would go on. Honestly, I can’t think of a single show that I would be good for.
Recently news broke out that China is doing a reality show to to recruit Chinese actors for Transformers 4. And all this gets me thinking: which TFs would be good for which shows? I mean, if Transformers came to Earth, some of them would be perfectly suited for some of these lame shows. So perfect that they could easily win, or make themselves stars of the show. Below I present 10 TFs and the show that they should go on.
Jazz – Dancing with the Stars
Most TFs don’t dance, but of the few that does, Jazz does it with the most style. In G1, we often see him dance whenever there’s music. And in the 1st Bay movie, we saw Jazz perform a windmill dance move when he first meets Sam and Mikaela. That’s pretty good for someone who just arrived on Earth. If Jazz was to go on Dancing with the Stars, he could give the audience something they’ve never seen before. His robotic body will allow him to perform moves that no human can ever do. Finding a partner for Jazz may prove to be difficult, however.
Soundwave – Celebrity Poker Showdown
You want a poker face? You got one in Soundwave. He’s totally unreadable and he gives away nothing, making him the perfect poker player. He’s also got a photographic memory, making counting cards second nature. I like to hear him go “Soundwave Superior” in his robo voice whenever he wins a hand, annoying the hell out of the other players. Shockwave would be good for this too, but I give Soundwave the edge because of one other reason: Soundwave can detect all forms of wave communication, even human brain waves. This means he can read the minds of the other players, and know exactly what they have. Good luck beating Soundwave at poker.
Starscream – Big Brother
Starscream was built to be on Big Brother. All the secret alliances, all that back-stabbing, all the drama, and all the house politics, they would all be child’s play to Starscream. For someone that near manipulated his way to Decepticon leadership (and would’ve easily succeeded if Megatron wasn’t around), winning the battles in the Big Brother house would prove almost too easy for the Decepticon air commander. Of course I much rather just see Starscream blast the brains out of some other house guest with his null rays if s/he puts him up for eviction.
Bumblebee – Cash Cab
For this to work, I’m thinking of the NYCC Exclusive TF Prime Taxi Cab Bumblebee. And this needs to be a talking Bumblebee, like G1 or War For Cybertron, but preferably more like Animated. That Bumblebee’s got some serious spunk for extra entertainment value. So instead of Ben Bailey driving around NY in his stupid cab, you have Bumblebee driving around doing the same thing. That would be way cooler. Bumblebee would need a hologram driver to attract unsuspecting riders. After they enter, Bumblebee bombards them with true Cybertronian lights and sounds. The game would proceed the same, except Bumblebee asks the questions while driving them to their destination, and it’s all TF trivia. If and when the players get 3 strikes, Bumblebee transforms into robot mode and kicks out the riders to the curb himself.
Swindle – The Apprentice
Of all the TFs ever created, Swindle is the only one that is interested in making money as an entrepreneur. And he’s pretty damn good at it. The epitome of the shrewd businessman, Swindle has mastered his craft of war profiteering by being a black market weapons merchant. He has even gone so far as selling the parts of his fellow Combaticons for money. All this makes him the perfect Apprentice for The Donald. As far as I know, Trump is not in the business of war. But that doesn’t mean has hasn’t looked into it, and Swindle would be his perfect partner. Of course Swindle has to first win the “3 month long job interview”. If The Donald ever tries to fire Swindle, I suggest Swindle fire back, literally, with his scatter blaster and destroy that comb-over once and for all.
Black Arachnia- America’s Next Top Model
I’ll admit, this is not a show I have watched. I change the channel as soon as it comes on. I rather take a nap than watch a bunch of women compete to be a model. However, if Black Arachnia appeared on the show, that would get my attention. I first thought about putting Arcee on here since she’s the most famous female TF, but she would probably hate being a model. So this gets me thinking about other TFs of the fairer sex, and Black Arachnia came to mind. The feisty female Predacon would enjoy the experience a bit more. It does take some cunning to win these reality competitions, and she’s got more than enough to spare. And if she doesn’t win, it would be entertaining to watch her transform into that giant black widow and watch the other wannabe models freak out.
Prowl – Cops
The granddaddy of reality shows just won’t go away. People can’t seem to get enough of Cops. I suggest using some TFs as police officers, and Prowl would be the perfect choice. His alt mode as a police vehicle already does half the job. And being the strict disciplinarian that he is, he probably volunteer for the show. Imagine some local lawbreakers trying to outsmart the police, only to find they are dealing with Prowl! Law enforcement never looked so good. Criminals beware!
Grapple – Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
On every episode of this show, some deserving family in poverty gets their house renovated by the Extreme Makeover team. What they come up with is pretty good, but I know how they can do it better: get Grapple on the team! Forget Ty Lawson or Paige Hemmis, you need a real architect who’s good enough to design solar power towers. Grapple’s buildings are considered great works of art on Cybertron, before the war. Designing a house for humans wouldn’t even be a challenge to the famous Autobot architect. Grapple would probably build energy collection modules into the homes for humans, the result being that the family residing there would live in constant fear of a Decepticon attack. Small price to pay for getting a brand new home for free.
Nightbeat – Cheaters
Only the most hardcore of G1ers would know about Nightbeat. He is a Headmaster that came in the 5th year of G1. The US G1 animated series already ended by then, so we only got to see him in comics. Anyway, he’s a detective. Why Autobots would even need detectives is beyond me, but his particular skill set gives him plenty of opportunities on Earth. One of those would be a private investigator for Cheaters. All that Autobot technology, reduced to spying on sexual infidelities. And as a Cheaters detective, his Headmaster partner can be Joey Greco. They would drive around day and night (mostly night), following their targets and monitoring their behavior. And when it’s time for “The Confrontation”, imagine the surprise of the cheater when accosted by a giant robot! No man or woman will ever stray again!
Grimlock – Master Chef
Grimlock would be horrible on any reality show, including Master Chef. I just want to see him appear on a show where he gets to wear his apron like a chef in training. I can see it now: a big, clumsy robo dino in the studio, wearing the apron and bowtie, knocking over everything and trying to eat all the food. Grimlock’s preferred method of food preparation has gotta be flame broiling, using the flamethrower built into his jaws. Though he’s more likely to burn down the whole studio. He would only attempt to follow directions for so long, before he loses it and makes a mess of everything. Gordon Ramsay may think he can scare all the contestants into submission. Good luck with that with Grimlock around. The famous chef can consider himself lucky if he doesn’t become human BBQ at the end of the show.
I will admit that I watch Cheaters if I happen to catch it. But the rest of them, I avoid like the plague. And they are all still running too, as far as I know. They say TV turns your brain to mush, and in the case of reality TV, it’s very true.
Transform and Roll Out.
I have a lot of Transformers. Probably too many by most conventional standards. Space becomes an issue, as I have mentioned repeatedly on this blog. However, there’s another issue, and it’s that you simply don’t have time for all of them. Back in G1, I didn’t get TFs all that often. So I gave every single TF the time it deserved. All my G1 figures were transformed over and over and over. Some of them to the point of having extremely loose joints, while others became straight up broken.
Nowadays, if I transform a figure more than 4 times, I would say I transformed that figure a lot. It’s not that I’m trying to keep the figure mint or anything. I just don’t have the time, and I have too many TFs. Maybe I just need to slow down on buying them. But I enjoy TF hunting too much.
Most figures I will transform at least twice before it gets put in a box somewhere. However, I do have some figures where I only transformed them once. Meaning if they were packed in alt mode, I would transform it to robot, and it stays that way, never even going back to alt mode. Or vice versa. Below is a list of 10 TFs where this has happened. But first some ground rules about my selections:
- The figure must exist on My TF List.
- I must have opened the figure; figures that I purposely keep new do not count.
- I must have owned the figure for more than a year.
So based on these rules, what are my least transformed TFs? Let’s find out. All pics courtesy of Seibertron.com.
Series: Hunt for the Decepticons
Mode in Package: Robot
Highbrow is one of my favorite figures from HftD. I really like the old WWII plane alt mode that he has. Not too many figures in the world of TF has such an alt mode. I documented his purchase back in this post. That was about 2 years ago, so I can now confirm that I have only ever seen this figure once in store. And I hunt a lot. Highbrow is a rare figure indeed. Anyway, I transformed this guy from robot to plane, and it has stayed that way since for about 2 years. Maybe it’s because I like the plane so much better than the robot for this figure. And here’s another funny thing: I did the exact same thing for his redeco, Powerdive. Got him from robot to plane, and he stayed that way on my shelf for about 3 months now. I’m not counting Powerdive as a entry here since I only had him for about 3 months. Both Highbrow and Powerdive are great figures, so I’m hoping I can make some time to transform either one back to robot real soon.
Mode in Package: Car
Back in this post I outlined my foray into the world of TF Animated. I admit, I did not at all like the Animated look when I first saw the toys. But eventually it kinda grows on you. Anyway, I bought a bunch of used figures from a guy on Craigslist for $80. Blurr was one of them. Almost all the figures in the set was in robot mode when I received them. I have transformed Blurr once to car, but that was it. As I write this, I don’t even have that much recollection of the toy. I just remember the robot being real skinny, transforming him once to a sleek and sexy car, then putting him away. All this happened in a blur (pun intended). But I do remember him being a decent figure, so I might dig him out later and transform him some more.
Mode in Package: Dinosaur
Snarl was another Animated figure that came with the huge used purchase that I mentioned above for Blurr. And just like Blurr, I received him in robot mode. If I remember right, I got 15 figures total in the used set (a steal for a mere $80). Snarl was one of the figures that I transformed last. And I’m not sure why since I love the Dinobots. Maybe because Grimlock got all the Dinobot love, or maybe because deep down I’m resentful at the fact he’s called Snarl when he should’ve been called Slag. Whatever the reason, I remember I wasn’t all that impressed with the figure. I can’t give concrete reasons though. I just remember him being sub par. Anyway, he was transformed once from robot to dino. That is perhaps not enough time to make a proper evaluation of the figure. So I should maybe give him another chance and transform him again.
Series: Dark of the Moon
Mode in Package: Robot
Now for the only Leader class figure on this list. DOTM Leader Ironhide was a figure that I wanted for some time before I was able to locate him in store. When I started buying DOTM toys in the summer of 2011, I was on the lookout to get a Ironhide figure. I almost bought the Voyager version of Ironhide, but then I learned of the Leader class figure. Ironhide would agree that bigger is better, so I had to go Leader class. I transformed him once to truck when I got him, and for reasons that elude me, I never transformed him again. I can’t explain why. I think this is a very solid TF with a robust robot mode and a beefy truck mode, while not being overly difficult to transform for a Leader class fig in the Movie-verse. He’s got some nice gimmicks too. It’s possible I simply like that hefty truck too much, so I just left it like that. I can’t really see myself digging this out anytime soon to transform him either, so I guess he will stay as a truck to who knows when.
Series: Power Core Combiners
Mode in Package: Robot
Finally, a Decepticon on this list. I bought Sledge when I was still with my Ex. We were at Target, and of course I had to stop by the TF aisle. Sledge was quite rare at the time, I think I only saw him once before this trip. The Ex really liked the purple Mini-Con, since that’s one of her favorite colors. So I bought Sledge. This is one purchase I wish I could take back. As a general rule, PCCs are crap. My buddy Gemini and I call them Power Crap Combiners. There are exceptions (like Heavytread and Skyhammer), but Sledge is not one of them. He’s crappy for even PCC standards. I transformed him once from robot to excavator and never looked back. In all likelihood, I will never transform Sledge again, unless I have a real good reason. Even if you are forced to play with PCCs, there are better figures in that line to amuse yourself with.
Series: Reveal the Shield
Mode in Package: Robot
Chopsaw is not a figure I would have normally bought. The only reason I even have him is because I really wanted RTS Scout Class Windcharger. All G1-ers will tell you that RTS Windcharger is an awesome figure that pays perfect homage to the G1 character of the same name. All CHUG fans wanted RTS Windcharger, but for the most part he was nowhere to be found in stores. He was made in extremely limited quantities, and Hasbro was having some serious distribution issues with RTS figures. For me, the only way to get him at MSRP was at BotCon 2011. Hasbro’s not stupid though. They made it so that Windcharger must be purchased in a set with 5 other figures. And it’s not like there’s a discount. That was one way for Hasbro to unload shelf-warmers at MSRP. Anyway, Chopsaw is one figure in that set. I outlined that purchase in this post. To be fair, Chopsaw is a nifty little figure. He’s got a wacky robot mode, but the motorcycle alt mode ain’t half bad. I could see myself play with this figure some more. Not a priority though.
Series: Hunt for the Decepticons
Mode in Package: Robot
Here is another figure that I would not usually buy. Again, this is another fig as part of the set that was forced on you in order to acquire Windcharger. I’m not really a big fan of this figure. In fact, out of that set of 6, Backfire is by far the worst figure IMO. Some fans may like him, but not me. It has been speculated that this figure is an homage to Cy-Kill from the GoBots. Probably because of the motorcycle alt mode and the colors. They may be right, I dunno. I could maybe see a customizer turning this into Cy-Kill. But I know this: Backfire sucks. I transformed him once and I see no further pleasure from doing it again. Only play as a last resort.
Series: Dark of the Moon
Mode in Package: Robot
Class: Basic Human Alliance
Two Backfires on the same list?! Say it ain’t so! I guess with a name like Backfire, everything you do is destined to fail. But seriously, DOTM Backfire is not too shabby. I think he’s one of the better Basic Human Alliance figures. Well, technically, I don’t know if calling them Basic HA is accurate. Human Alliance figures only come in two sizes. They started out doing only larger ones, usually slightly bigger than a Voyager figure. Then they started doing these smaller ones that are somewhere between a Scout and Deluxe. Kinda like PCC size. Regardless, Backfire is one of the better smaller ones. My favorite Basic HA would probably be Sandstorm and Half-Track. If I were to pick a 2nd favorite, it probably be Backfire. I like his robot mode, and I really like his ATV alt mode. This alt mode comes together quite well, and the human figure can sit on him just fine. I went into HA figures in this post, and I just realized now I bought Backfire and some other smaller HAs after that. I could see myself digging out Backfire later and transforming him some more, if only to play with that ATV.
Series: Transformers (2007 Movie)
Mode in Package: Motorcycle
Here is the only female figure to appear on this list. When I was compiling this, I started looking at my TF list to find the figures that were barely transformed. I don’t know why, but all of a sudden it hit me, I have Elita-One from the 1st Movie! She was a Target exclusive. I guess I got her because I have never seen Hasbro make figures of Elita-One, and this is a character that only hardcore G1-ers like myself would recognize, so I had to have her. However as a toy, she must’ve been unmemorable. I say that because, prior to this post, I didn’t even have her on my TF List! So I had to add her to the list first before publishing this. I don’t have much recollection of the figure. She must be a repaint of something, I just don’t know what. In fact, on Seibertron, I see 8 redecos of this mold. I’ll reserve my thoughts about the figure after I dig her out and transform her some more, since what I can recall is hazy at best. But I do remember transforming her only once, from bike to robot. That in itself cannot be a good sign. Heck, the fact that I forgot to include her in the TF list is a really bad sign. But who knows, taste change. My taste in women have changed over the years, so maybe in female TFs too? LOL.
Series: Generations, War For Cybertron
Mode in Package: Robot
I saved the best for last. Here is a figure I’m embarrassed to have on this list. Soundwave is one of my all time favorite characters. So why would I even have a figure of Soundwave where I only transformed him once? I can’t explain it. Sometimes you rarely transform a figure because they’re too difficult, or maybe one mode is significantly better than the other so you just leave them in that mode, or its such a crappy figure that you don’t want to transform it anymore. WFC Deluxe Soundwave shares none of these faults. I’m guessing this figure must have been released when many other figures flooded the shelves, or he simply came around at a time in my life when there was too much going on. But whatever the reason, I need to dig out Soundwave and transform him some more. I remember transforming him only once, from robot to car. If memory serves, I was impressed with both modes. Now would be a good time to compare this figure with the Voyager figure from FOC. I think they each got their strengths, but I’ll know after I have them stand side by side. Apparently it’s also possible to have this Soundwave transform into a Cybertronian boombox. Not sure if that’s official or a fan creation, but I’m eager to try it.
So these are my least transformed Transformers. As I look at this list, some things come to mind. Six of these figures are from Movie lines, or Movie sub lines. I guess this finding does not surprise me. Only one figure falls into CHUG, and that’s WFC Soundwave. I would have been real surprised if this list were full of CHUG figures. Also, four figures transform into motorcycles. Maybe one some level, I don’t enjoy motorcycle transformers.
There are only 3 Decepticons on here. I’m pretty sure I don’t discriminate based on faction. Maybe they just make a lot more Autobots. If I get really bored one of these days, I’ll go through my TF list and count.
The good news in all this is that I don’t have any TFs where I opened and never transformed. I have heard of some TransFans complain about this phenomenon. I hope it never happens to me.
What are your least transformed TFs? Feel free to comment below.
Transform and Roll Out!
Well here we are again! Another year of happy blogging has gone by. To me it certainly seemed like much less than a full year since the 2 year anniversary. I think when you get older, time just seems to go by much faster. When I was a kid, a whole year feels like forever. Now it passes in the blink of an eye, or maybe I should say the refresh of an optic sensor.
As I look back on the past year, I see various trends developing in the world of TF. Some good, some not so good:
- Third party items seem to have caught on like wildfire. I think we saw more of this in the last year than any previous years. I can’t even keep track of them anymore!
- Prices of all items skyrocketed. Even adjusting for inflation, prices have soared. Using official Hasbro Deluxe class figures as a benchmark, in the 2000s they were around $10 a fig. Now in 2012 they average about $15. A 50% price increase seems like a lot to me in such a short span. And I won’t even go into third party products.
- 2012 was a non-Movie year. Toys are not produced in major quantities, like DOTM, which perhaps explain why they cost more.
- Release through store exclusives seem to be on the rise. Don’t get me wrong, I prefer limited release over no release at all. But it’s kind of a problem when you have to be vigilant about every exclusive release, or risk them running out and you have to pay some scalper a markup to get them.
- Hasbro are still releasing too many Bumblebees! The latest batch of TF Prime deluxes all come with a DVD. And I see deluxe Bumblebees in the DVD packaging, meaning they were just made. C’mon Hasbro, STOP THE BUMBLEBEES PLEASE!!!
As far as the blog stats go, I’m pretty happy on where it’s at. I have nearly 100,000 hits in the past year. Pretty modest by today’s standards, but not too shabby for a personal blog. The huge spike in July 2011 is from the release of Dark of the Moon. But after that, there appears to be a sustained momentum. Most of my visits come directly from Google. Sometimes I wish I knew how their search algorithm works (me along with everyone else).
It is amazing that the Transformers brand is still going strong after 28 years. Very few other toy lines can say the same. I was away from it for 16 years (1988 to 2004), but I’m happy I’m back. Will TFs ever stop? Will I have another hiatus? Your guess is as good as mine. I am proud to be a TransFan, and I will keep this blog going for as long as TFs are part of my life. Transform and Roll Out!
I knew this day was coming. One purchase here, another one there, and before you knew it, I have amassed an army of 500 Transformers.
As of 8/13/2010, the TF count was 300. Almost 22 months later, I bought 200 more TFs. Doing the math and rounding down, that’s about 9 figures a month in this time span. That also translates to about 2 figures a week, or roughly 105 figures for a year.
9 TFs a month in about the last 2 years is definitely more than 4 a month in the 6+ years prior to that. What exactly accounted for this increase? I’m trying to draw some conclusions by looking at my TF List. It’s too bad I didn’t keep records of the dates of my purchases until this year, but I can still determine approximately what were the figures bought since August of 2010. There were about 43 DOTM figures, 23 TF Prime figures, 16 PCCs, 34 Reveal the Shields, and 31 Generations. All these I’m pretty certain came at or after Aug 2010. That brings the total to almost 150. Add in some misc purchases here and there, such as Star Wars and Marvel crossovers, the later figures from ROTF, some newer MPs, and 3rd party products, it’s easy to see how that brings the total to 200.
So what does this all mean? Well for one thing, it means that Hasbro released a freakin’ boatload of Transformers in this time span. The 3rd Transformers movie probably has something to do with that. And it also means I decided to buy many of the figures released. But looking back, I can’t think of that many TFs that I regret buying during this stretch. Sure there are some figures here and there that I wish I can return to the store, like some PCCs and some Star Wars stuff. But for the most part, I’m glad I bought most of these 200. In the last 22 months, it was rare for me to be sorely disappointed with a purchase. The logical conclusion to draw here is that the quality of the figures have really gone up.
Another big reason for all these TFs is I started hunting for them at discount stores (eg. Ross, Marshalls, TJMaxx, etc). Generally speaking, deluxes are usually $6 or $7 at these places, while Voyagers typically run for $10. Scouts or smaller are at $5 or less. At these prices, I don’t even blink and just grab the figure to checkout whenever I see something I want. And I found just about everything that was in mass retail at the discount stores, like the Movie figures, PCCs, Generations, the Crossovers, and Reveal the Shields (RtS). In fact, for RtS, very often I only found them at discount stores. At such low prices, I bought multiples of many figures, mostly from the CHUG-verse. Movie figures are generally very affordable regardless of where you buy them. However, with some TFs, there’s no getting around paying full MSRP. This is the case with TF Prime figures, the MPs, and of course the 3rd party products.
Still, 500 TFs is a lot. So this year I’m making an effort to not buy as many. As a rule, I stopped buying multiples (unless there’s a good reason, like for example the Vehicons, which sadly I still haven’t found any as of this writing). However, there are some good stuff on the horizon, such as the upcoming FOC figures, more TF Prime toys, and some Asia only exclusives. Keeping that count from growing will be difficult.
In the comments for the 300 post, Gemini said it won’t be long before I have 400, and danbugman said 300 won’t be nearly enough. Oh how right they were. 500 and growing… Long Live TFs! Transform and Roll Out!
This post is 3 days overdue, but 10/9/2011 was the two year anniversary of this blog. This was on my radar in the month prior to the date. But as we have all experienced, life happens, stuff gets in the way, and before you know it, the anniversary has come and gone. I’m having a little off-time here at work today, and all of a sudden it hits me, “My Blog is 2 years old!”
As I sit here analyzing the stats, I’m happily content with how the blog has performed in the 2nd year. Total hits for year 1 were around 10,000. In year 2 it climbed to almost 80,000, indicating close to 70,000 hits for the year alone. 700% growth is not too shabby in my opinion, though admittedly the bar wasn’t set too high to begin with. Still, I’m in awe at the fact that there are people out there as interested in Transformers as I am, this helps me keep the blog going.
As you can clearly see, there is a huge spike in July 2011. Obviously it had to do with the release of Dark of the Moon.
Here’s to many more years of blogging about Transformers! Transform and Roll Out!
Megatron is the only being on Cybertron who had the will and charisma to organize the destructive mechanoids into a deadly and powerful fighting force that would become the Decepticons. One does not become such a respected and feared leader without a few cool lines.
The great Decepticon ruler has a bunch of famous quotes that you can use in your everyday work life. I have compiled 10 such lines and they appear below in no particular order. Beware! Megatron’s words are aggressive to say the least. Choose to use them at your own risk.
“Peace through tyranny.”
Source: Megatron’s motto on his Tech Spec bio since G1
When to use: If you are seen as rigid or controlling around the office, validate your behavior with this line. Let people know that your bossy ways can lead to harmony if they simply stopped questioning your orders and do what they’re told.
“The fun has begun, but it’s no joke.”
Source: Transformers (1984), Blaster Blues
Context: A captured Blaster thinks Megatron is joking about taking control of all of Earth’s airwaves. Megatron shows him how serious he is.
When to use: You are making everyone work overtime and the staff thinks you can’t possibly be serious. Use this quote to show them you are all business.
“I smell you, boy.”
Source: Transformers (2007)
Context: Sam’s got the All Spark and he’s hiding. Megatron lets him know that such attempts are futile.
When to use: A male coworker is stinking up the workplace. It can be anything: BO, bad breath, too much cologne, foul-smelling lunches, whatever. Don’t be afraid to let him know with this line.
“Personally I don’t care what you need.”
Source: Transformers (1984), The Golden Lagoon
Context: Megatron dismisses Starscream’s need for more proof of the electrum recently discovered by Thurst.
When to use: A co-worker is constantly bugging you with questions, emails, phone calls, or whatever else that might harsh your mellow. If they can’t take a hint by you ignoring them, then it’s time to throw this line in their face.
“I’ll crush you with my bare hands!”
Source: Transformers the Movie (1986)
Context: Megatron makes his intentions perfectly clear before his one-on-one duel with Optimus Prime.
When to use: Your office computer froze up yet again for some mysterious reason. There’s another paper jam in the office printer or copier. The coffee machine is not brewing. If you experience these or any other equipment failure in your work day, vent your frustration with this line as you pound these worthless devices into oblivion.
Source: Pick any random episode during Beast Wars and there’s a good chance Megatron says this in the episode.
Context: Megatron showing agreement, or confirming what he’s already decided.
When to use: This one has lots of uses. You can simply use it to say yes. Or you can use it to show excitement. Or you can follow up any order you give with this to let them know you really want it done. However it’s all about the delivery. You need to say it just like Beast Wars Megatron for it to be effective.
“I’ve got morons on my team!”
Source: Transformers (1984), Auto Berserk
Context: Megatron was driving the Negavator and about to blast some Autobots, when a bumbling Ramjet crashes into the cockpit of the weapon, ejecting Megatron in the process. An enraged Megatron then proceeds to chew out his warriors.
When to use: Your boss wants to know why a team project has stalled, been delayed, or failed entirely. Blame your idiotic team members before they can blame you by using this line.
“Do as I command!”
Source: Family Guy, Oceans Three and a Half
Context: Megatron appears in a gag where he orders Peter to put back some money that they were about to steal.
When to use: This quote is useful any time you want to bark out orders. Pound your fist on your desk while using this line for the full effect.
“It’s just such ignorance which forever relegates you to the ranks of underling.”
Source: Transformers (1984), A Prime Problem
Context: Starscream was about to harness the energy of some unstable crystals when Megatron stops him, but right afterwards he wasted no time mocking Starscream’s stupidity.
When to use: Your subordinate has made yet another boneheaded mistake and you really want to let him have it. That is the perfect time to use this quote. No feelings will be spared when this line is used on the person that committed the error.
Source: Pick any random episode during G1 and there’s a good chance Megatron says this in the episode.
Context: The Autobots have foiled Megatron’s plans yet again. Megatron orders the Decepticons to withdraw with their tails between their legs.
When to use: You have alienated everyone in the office by using these lines and acting like a total jerk. Your co-workers are out for blood and want to see you hurt. Get out of the office while the getting’s good. Recite this line as you exit the premises.
For a list of Optimus Prime quotes useful in the workplace, click here.
Megatron commands you to… Transform and Roll Out!
Today is the one year anniversary of Transformers Roll Out. This has been a great experience so far. I want to thank everyone who has been visiting the blog, reading, sharing my posts, leaving comments, and just discussing anything and everything Transformers related.
As the graph outlines, more people have been visiting in recent months. I am pleased that there are people that care about Transformers as much as I do, and this inspires me to keep this blog running.
And for those that are interested, here is the very first post, exactly one year ago.
Here’s to many more years of blogging about Transformers! Transform and Roll Out!
Optimus says a lot of cool things. Most of it is very inspirational and motivates you to achieve beyond your full potential. Occasionally he’ll spew out a wacky line or two that seems kinda funny when it wasn’t meant to be.
The great Autobot leader has a bunch of famous quotes that you can use in your everyday life. I have compiled 10 such lines and they appear below in no particular order. Use them at your own risk.
“Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing.”
Source: Transformers Revenge of the Fallen
Context: Sam Witwicky, being the whiny little bitch that he is, just wants to party his head off at the local U in the middle of a Decepticon invasion. Prime urges Sam to answer his calling and help the Autobots save Earth and everyone on it.
When to use: If you are in charge of a project and your whiny staff members are just watching the clock and waiting to go home, inspire them a little by using this line. Suggest that the project is their calling and they are the only ones who can see it to completion. You can always fire their sorry ass if they are still unmotivated.
“Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.”
Source: Optimus Prime’s motto on his Tech Spec bio since G1
When to use: If your boss wants you to work overtime on nights and/or weekends with no overtime pay, throw this line in his face. Freedom is a right, including freedom to not work.
“Sometimes even the wisest of men and machines can be in error.”
Source: Transformers (1984), SOS Dinobots
Context: After the Dinobots saved Optimus and most other Autobots, Prime admits his previous error in judgment of locking away the Dinobots.
When to use: This is an excellent line to use when you have made an error and people have found out about it. Not only do you man up to the mistake you made, you also make the implication that errors are bound to happen and they will be made by everyone given enough time. Almost makes you look good for making the mistake in the first place.
“We lost a great comrade, but gained new ones. Thank you, all of you. You honor us with your bravery.”
Source: Transformers (2007)
Context: After the battle with the Decepticons, Prime laments the loss of Jazz, but simultaneously acknowledges their new found friendship with their human allies.
When to use: Management loves to save dollars by slashing the jobs of senior level personnel and replacing them with cheaper workers of less skill and less experience. The thinking here is that the company can pay less and still get the same quality of work as before. Those of us that have been in any industry long enough know that this is rarely the case. But we all know management just loves bad decisions so this is a practice that will continue til the end of time. And when it does happen and you are welcoming the new substitutes into the fold, you can greet them with this line. Losing the great comrade refers to the senior member that was let go, and the new personnel does indeed honor you with their bravery because they have no idea what they’re getting into without the senior member present.
“Like us, there’s more to them than meets the eye.”
Source: Transformers (2007)
Context: Optimus ponders on how amazing the humans can be.
When to use: Let’s say you suspect a rival company is up to something. Or let’s say there’s some bad blood going on between your dept/team/group with another one in the same company and you suspect they’re up to no good. That will be the perfect time to whip out this line. You are implying they can be just as crafty as you are, and this is a light warning that you should take heed of their activities.
“I will accept this burden with all that I am!”
Source: Transformers War For Cybertron
Context: Cybertron/Primus has chosen Optimus to inherit a portion of his Spark to take with him to the stars. Optimus bravely steps forward and receives the Autobot Matrix of Leadership.
When to use: You have just been handed a project and you want to let your boss know he has made the right choice in letting you hold the reins. Show your enthusiasm by uttering this line, loud and clear. Don’t be shy. Management loves people who appear to take responsibility. If the project really does suck, turn around and give it to one of your underlings.
“There’s a thin line between being a hero and being a memory.”
Source: Transformers (1984), More Than Meet’s The Eye Part 3
Context: Ironhide tries to battle the Decepticons all by himself and sustains damage. Optimus shares a bit of wisdom with this impulsive warrior that is way past his prime.
When to use: In every office, there are individuals that love to volunteer the entire team into taking on more assignments or doing more work. While that’s great for these over-caffeinated workaholics, you rather spend your spare time napping or playing golf. Curb their enthusiasm by using this quote. Pretend you care by letting them know that if they do too much too soon, they may burn themselves out and not be able to work at all.
“We’re putting your company into bankruptcy.”
Source: Transformers (1984), Make Tracks
Context: Prime and company attack a Decepticon installation that was converting stolen human cars into Decepticon drone warriors.
When to use: You are negotiating with a rival company. Thing’s aren’t going well and you’ve had enough. Threaten them a little with this quote. Show them the meaning of “Hostile Takeover”, Transformer style.
“Until that day… till all are one.”
Source: Transformers The Movie (1986)
Context: A dying Optimus Prime addresses the Autobots with these final words as he hands the Matrix over to Ultra Magnus.
When to use: A delivery date is fast approaching and your boss wants an update on the status of the project. If the project is not going well, or if you simply don’t have any freakin’ clue on how it’s going, then it is time to answer with this line. This response is cool enough that it sounds like you have given the update and taken responsibility for its status, but at the same time you didn’t actually say anything. Your boss is free the interpret the meaning of this response. More often than not, he’ll just be too embarrassed to ask you what you really mean because he’s afraid he might look stupid. Use that to your advantage.
“It’s been an honor serving with you all.”
Source: Transformers (2007)
Context: Optimus addresses his troops before their next battle, where he plans to sacrifice himself against overwhelming odds.
When to use: When you’ve been fired for using any of these quotes in the manner listed above.
For even more great Prime quotes, visit The Quotable Optimus Prime.
And here is one quote that you won’t ever hear in the workplace… “Transform and Roll Out!”
April 24th, 2004. I was browsing Amazon late that night. I don’t remember what I was looking for, but I stumbled upon G1 Transformers re-issues sold by Toys R Us through Amazon. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw them! I loved Transformers when I was a kid, and there were a bunch of figures that I wanted but never had. My allowance was next to nothing, and my parents wouldn’t buy them (money wasn’t the issue, they were just strict). I was not going to pass up the opportunity at owning what I always wanted. So I went ahead and bought Skywarp and Grapple, the two figures that were on sale. That purchase marked the beginning of my TF collecting for the last 6+ years. It might have just started out as G1 re-issues, but then I discovered Binaltechs in the summer at AX2004. From there it went to Alternators and Masterpieces. Then came the classics, the movie toys, and then Animated toys. That one little innocent purchase on 04-24-2004 opened the floodgates to a serious Transformers addiction. It had impacted me in ways that I could not have foreseen.
I started this blog October of last year, and I thought it would be fun to list all my TFs on the TF List page. Last night I updated it and looked at the total. I now have… drum roll please… 300 Transformers. 300! I knew I was coming close to this number, but actually seeing it both amazed and shocked me. That’s a freakin’ boatload of Transformers!
300 Transformers in about 6 years and 4 months. Do the math and rounding up, that translates to roughly 4 figures a month. It doesn’t sound like a lot when you think in those terms. I guess they just add up. Check out my TF list here.
And to commensurate this momentous occasion, I present the following video. G1 Movie trailer cut to the audio of 300. Very cool. This is one of my favorite fan-made TF vids of all time.
Transform and Roll Out!
In my last post, I mentioned that I will do scans of the instructions for FansProject Warbot Defender (WB001). In case you missed it, my review of Defender appears here.
How are FP instructions better than Hasbro’s? Oh let me count the ways…
- Book format
- Quality color printing
- Quality paper
- A comic book intro
- Detailed instructions with notes and highlighted transforming sections
Hasbro should seriously look at this and take some notes here. Anyway, witness the awesomeness for yourself in the scans below.
Pure awesomeness! Pure FansProject! Transform and Roll Out!